The awesome advisors from Dynamic intervention, a specialist training company that offers life and executive coaching, accredited personal development courses, BEE file compilations and workplace skills plans as well as consulting on matters that increase profitability. Have offered some advice!
Q: There is this guy that I really like and I think he likes me, so all should be fine! But, it’s not! You see … This guy I like is my best friend’s brother. Please help me! I don’t want to ruin my friendship with my BFF but I really like this guy! BF vs. BFF
A: You are right to be concerned as friendships often supersedes and lives on long after a relationship with a boyfriend does. However if there is mutual attraction between the two of you it may be wise to discuss this with your friend and make sure she is okay with it even if either of you breaks the other ones heart.
Q: I am going out with my cousin’s ex and I don’t know what she will do if I tell her, because every time I tell her something she goes and tells my mom. My mom doesn’t know I’m going out with him either. What do I do? Stuck in the middle.
A: It sounds like you’re worried about your Mom’s reaction to your relationship. Is it because she just doesn’t get you or because you think she will disapprove of this guy? It must be annoying to have your cousin tell your Mom everything that is going on, firstly because this is a betrayal of your trust and secondly because you should be telling your Mom about your life first. I think you should do some thinking about why it’s so difficult to be open with your Mom, maybe you and her need to have a heart to heart or maybe you need to trust her more.
Q: I have this best friend who is like a sister to me. I am a white girl and for some reason I love black men and they LOVE me too. I really like this black guy and I want to tell my best friend, but she’s a racist and my parents are racists too. How do I handle this sensitive situation? Ebony and ivory.
A: Skin colour should not be a factor but rather his character and how he treats you should be. Other people in our lives may not always approve of our choices but at the end of the day are all entitled to make up our own minds about things. I’m sad that all the people around you judge someone on their skin color instead of their character. This is not going to be easy but you need to assert your rights in making choices good for you. Talk to your friend and your parents. Many times we decide how people are going to react. They may surprise you.
Q: I had a girlfriend and we broke up because she said that she no longer had feelings for me. I could tell she was lying, because it wasn’t coming from her heart. I knew she broke up with me because her ex is her baby’s father and he wanted her back. I want her back and don’t know what to do? Jilted and jealous.
A: When a woman has a baby her choices become not only about her but about her child as well. You may be right about her still having feelings for you, but she has obviously made a choice for herself and her baby. I urge you to accept her choices and move on. I would like to suggest that you offer her friendship and support. This is a great way to love her from a distance. And if and when she realises that she still has feelings for you, you will still be in her life.
Q: I met this guy a few years back when I was best friends with his sister… his twin sister. We kind of dated over Mxit then it ended when my friend and I stopped talking. Last year at her farewell pool party he kept being flirty and pushing me in the pool and helping me out and we talked for such a long time. We talked a bit on BBM but it felt like he was ignoring me, so I deleted him. But every time I see or think of him the feelings come flooding back. What should I do? Yes, no, maybe?
A: One of the most difficult things for women to realise is when a guy is just not that into you. I can hear from your letter that you connected with him and you really like him, but when a guy likes you, he will make it known to you and you are probably right in deleting him from BBM. If he likes you he will make the effort to contact you. Be patient and keep your options open.
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