Most often than not, girls wait for guys to make the first move because we don’t want to be rejected. We don’t want to face that crippling embarrassment if he says no but in reality the worst thing he can say is ‘no’ BUT he could also say ‘yes’. It is the 21st century after all so it’s time to put your big-girl-panties and start acting like it. It’s no use sitting around and hoping he finally plucks up the courage. Waiting could it you up inside so here’s a crazy thought, why not ask him out? Here are a few ways to do it (if you’re not chicken):
Plant the seed
You can send as many hints as you want his way but let’s just face it, most guys are truly oblivious to hints. It might take the guy a while to realize what is happening but it couldn’t hurt to plant the seed. By this we mean the small indicators that will eventually leave him curious about you and leave him eager to get to know more about you. Flirting can be quite a daunting task but here are a few guidelines to help you out:
- Make eye contact – Flirting is all about confidence. Nothing is sexier on a girl like confidence. It’s important for you to understand that we don’t mean you should be full of yourself or egotistical but you should communicate that you are happy being you. Guys find it easier to approach a girl who is willing to exchange a flirty stare. Glance over at him every now and then and if he catches you looking at him, smile. Don’t make the glances too often, it can start to get a little creepy. When you’re talking to him look deeply into his eyes. It will disarm him but it will also let him know that you are interested.
- Verbal cues – Save your flirting so in other words don’t flirt too much. Leave him wanting more. Gently tease him, compliment him and try to be funny. Even if you’re not inherently funny, he might just find it enduring. If he doesn’t laugh then laugh at your own joke. It will definitely defuse the tension.
- Touch – Touch him when you are speaking to him but don’t be too obvious. You don’t want him to think you are desperate or anything. Keep your distance from him for most of the conversation but subtle touches every now and then will spark his interest for sure. Lean in to whisper something in his ear if it’s really loud where you are, or touch his arm lightly and ask him to pass something to you. It’s important to leave long spaces between each touch because you don’t want to give him the idea that you’re too comfortable with him already. He might get the wrong idea.
Play the track that gets you pumping and ready to conquer anything. We all have that one track that makes us feel sexy, beautiful, confident and strong. Music has an incredible way of affecting our emotional state so don’t be afraid to put the track on repeat. Like we said previously, the worst thing that he can say is ‘no’. Repeat this to yourself a few times so that you are mentally prepared if he does say ‘no’. Because believe us, it will hurt but it will hurt a lot less if you are mentally prepared.
Getting to it
We live in a day and age where nearly everything is done with our smartphones. The trick is to be as casual has possible so if he says ‘no’ then you can brush it off as unimportant. Try and be spontaneous. Make the date spontaneously. Text him on the fly that you are craving your favourite food and ask him to join you. Or send him a screenshot of the latest movie in cinema and ask if he wants to see it with you.
If you’re not ready to go on a date with him one-on-one then ask him out on a group date. It provides a low-pressure environment to get to know him and for him to get to know you. It’s so casual that him he says ‘no’ you can just brush it off by saying that your friend asked you to invite a bunch of people so it’s not an issue that he can’t come. If the group-date goes well then hopefully it will lead to a regular date between you two.
Ask him out to do a guy-friendly activity such as mini-golf or bowling. Try find out what he likes first and also what he is good at. If he is bad at bowling he might say no because he doesn’t want to look like a fool in front of you. Guys like to feel like they are in control to they will often choose an activity they can excel at.
Use the extra ticket trick. Tell him that you have two tickets to the coolest concert or event and tell him that you were going to go with your bestfriend but she can’t make it anymore. Ask him if he would like to go with you because you wouldn’t want the ticket to go to waste.
Don’t let him see that you are upset. Try your best to control your facial reactions and if you are texting, don’t blue tick him. By that we mean, don’t ignore him and not reply. Brush it off like it wasn’t important to you whether he came or not. Tell him that you found someone else to go with so it’s not the end of the world. But if you still have hope, drop him a, ‘Maybe next time :)’, text. And finally, don’t cry! This is especially important if you have asked him out face-to-face. He isn’t worth your tears, sweetie. And to risk sounding cliche, there are plenty of fish in the ocean.
By: Kriszti Bottyan