She was there first, and she’s not going anywhere! What Now?
Technically she isn’t the mother in law until you’re married, but it’s important that the relationship between you and her starts off on a good note! We all want and need to be liked, but no matter how amazing you are, sometimes the mother of the guy you are with just won’t like you…
We’ve all heard of the horror stories and stereotypes of that ‘evil mother in law’. Fortunately ladies, today’s moms are a little less uptight (we hope). Moms will hopefully not be panicked when meeting you but rather take the approach that when / if things get serious with you and your BF, she will deal with it then. But, even with her being cool, the whole situation is scary, especially if you are the first girl to meet the parents.
First impressions last and you have only one chance to make one on your ‘mother in law’. So…
- Be polite, sweet and kind
- Don’t reveal too much information about your life, especially your ex-boyfriends
- Dress appropriately and respectfully
- Be yourself… but the toned down version if you are loud and likely to over-share
- Be confident! This will help you to respectfully hold your own when she becomes ‘difficult’ – you never want her to think she can stomp all over you
- Don’t overdo being the perfect girlfriend. Be yourself, because she will see through an act which you’ll also have to keep going – what a mission!
- Compromise for the sake of peace and stability, but don’t neglect the person you are. No one is worth that.
So she REALLY doesn’t like you?
If this happens it’s likely, that no one will ever be right for her son.
Here are some tips on how to deal:
- Don’t challenge her – she can make your life pretty difficult.
- Don’t bad-mouth her to your boyfriend. He will lose respect for you.
- Let him know how you feel – he’ll advise you how to handle the situation
- Remember that you are dating him! He should be the focus of your relationship – not her.
- Even if she goes overboard, be the one to keep the peace.
- Never make him choose because you’re likely to lose, and if you don’t, he’ll resent you.
There’s no doubt that many women have had tough relationships with their mother-in-laws. Could it be the natural order of things, or the female energy being too strong… who knows? What we all need to remember, is that unless his parents are not around or have passed, you will need to be prepared to be involved with them in some way or another. Best of luck girlfriends!