Every adult will tell you that it is better to wait until you are older to have sex. They preach that you need to base the decision on love but also in accordance with the consequences of having sex. In a country rife with AIDs and other STIs it is important to make sure who exactly you are sleeping with and being aware of your partner’s sexual history. You can’t always be your partner’s first and it may be painful to find out about their past but it is definitely necessary.
Although you can’t choose who your partner has slept with, you can choose what contraception you choose to use. It is not a good enough reason to not use a condom because it makes the experience less enjoyable for you and your partner. Being a teen mom or overall just being a mom before you are not ready is not as glamorous as it may seem. The general belief that you will be taken care of by the government is a misconception.
On average a baby costs about R7,785 a month to take care of. Government grants in comparison are about R3,480 and that is only if you qualify for it. Believe me, at the age of 16 you might believe you have it all figured out but even at the age of 24 young adults still find they don’t have it all figured out. I’m sure you’ve seen those memes about ‘adulting’ – the struggle is real. Oopsies do occur. I’m sure many of your parents will vouch for that. Here are some sex myths that need to be put to bed (pun intended):
- You cannot get pregnant the first time you have sex.
You can fall pregnant anytime you have sex. If you are having sex without birth control then you can fall pregnant, pregnancy does not discriminate. It is even possible for you to fall pregnant before your first period.
- I cannot get pregnant if we don’t have sex.
Although rare, there are situations where women have fallen pregnant despite fact that penetration has not occurred. Semen residue may be left on your fingers after you have got-it-on. This semen might be transferred into the vaginal cavity when you go to the bathroom for instance or if you choose to engage in masturbation.
- I cannot get pregnant if we have sex while I am on my period.
Semen can hang-out in your reproductive organs for up to six days. This means that it is possible for you to fall pregnant from sex you had whilst on your period.
- I cannot get pregnant when I am on the pill or have used a condom.
Condoms notoriously do not work. They break or may come-off during sex. By the time you realize something may have happened it is often too late. A condom is only 98% effective. The pill in comparison is more effective for contraception but it not better than the condom when it comes to STIs. The pill is only 99% effective. By skipping the pill once, taking it out of pattern or if you are plagued by diarrhea or vomiting, the pill will be ineffective. If used correctly these forms of contraception can help but you are still playing with a 2% chance of falling pregnant.
- I cannot get pregnant if he uses the ‘pull-out’ method.
During sex, the man gradually releases semen contrary to the belief that all semen is released at one point in sex. By pulling-out at the end sex you may avoid most of the semen but not all of it. Therefore it is possible to fall pregnant despite avoiding the main firework display.
- You’d know if you (or your partner) had an STI.
Most people that have STIs don’t know they have an STI. Just because you and your partner don’t have symptoms doesn’t mean you shouldn’t worry about. If left untreated, some STIs can turn into really dangerous infections and even lead to permanent damage (like infertility).
- Contraception is impossible if he wears a condom and if I wear a condom.
Most doctors recommend that you wear a condom and take another form of birth control. But wearing two condoms during sex is a mistake. This practice is often referred to as ‘double-bagging’. ‘Double-bagging’ may cause more friction making it more likely for the condom to tear. Better to use just one and some kind of lubricant for better sensation, you can get both of these at any sex shop like מוצרי סקס.
By: Kriszti Bottyan