By Dylan Craig-Caddick
No matter what they might claim, every teacher has a certain child in their class that they prefer above everyone else. I’m sure its awesome if you’re the “chosen one” but for the rest of us it makes life really unfair, and we kind of hate you for it.
The other day for instance I stood up and threw a piece of paper away and had my head ripped off by my teacher (not quite literally but it might as well have been). What irks me is not the rule itself, but the principle. I KNOW that if teacher’s pet in this particular class had stood up and thrown something in the bin and done an MJ walk right past the teacher, the teacher would probably have stared lovingly into their eyes. Pet and teacher would then have gazed at each other, savouring the moment, looking into each other’s souls. I swear.
Similarly, sometimes I will be in class, minding my own business, getting on with my work and the teacher will release a blood-curdling scream. I got a question wrong, so the degree of drama was obviously appropriate?! She then proceeds to humiliate me in front of my class, mocking me and my efforts. BUT, if the pet gets something wrong (which they never do obvs) the teacher explains to them in a soothing way, exactly what they did wrong, all the time cooing “I clearly didn’t teach this well enough.”
I can handle a teacher that is just a terrible human being. I really can. But if you’re going to be vile, at least be vile to all of us. The screaming banshee from hell would be totally manageable if it weren’t for the fact that she is nauseatingly sweet to the pet. Teachers must just be fair. I surely can’t be the only one who thinks this?