Q: So there’s this boy. I really love him but my best friend and her boyfriend are tearing us apart. They are always having problems. My best friend’s boyfriend is my boyfriend’s best friend so when they have problems she doesn’t want to see him, which means I can’t really hang out with my boyfriend either. I don’t have the heart to tell her that she’s really upsetting me, because she gets mad at me really easily. I don’t even think she’s a real friend anymore. What should I do?
A: If I’m hearing your correctly you just answered your own question: you don’t think she is a real friend anymore. And you’re right – real friends want the best for each other and have a mutually respectful relationship. It sounds to me like this girl is manipulating you by controlling what you do. Usually I would say that friendships are more important than boyfriends, but the way your friend is behaving is really not okay. You need to find the courage to let her know that she doesn’t get to dictate how you live your life and who you spend your time with. You can let her know that you care about her problems, but that they can’t affect your life as much as they are doing. If she is a friend, she will take on board what you have said and move forward. If she isn’t, then it is best to know that upfront and find new friends. Good luck!