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Dr Love answers your questions


Dr Love answers your questions

Q: Hi TeenZone,

I hope you can help me. I’m 16 and have never had a boyfriend. In fact I’ve never had anyone interested in me at all. I have lots of friends who are guys but they always end up dating my friends. They often hang out with me more than their girlfriend, but none of them have ever even thought of me as a prospect. I don’t think I’m super ugly, but I’m scared there is something wrong with me?

Asked by Anon

A: Hi Anon,

First and foremost, there is NOTHING wrong with you. The situation you describe is very common, and will get better naturally as you get older. Girls who have guys as friends are often overlooked when the guys are younger, as the majority simply don’t have the maturity at this stage to see you as both a friend and a girlfriend. It’s complicated to date a friend. It’s easy to date a ‘random’. Your situation has nothing to do with your looks, or anything else about you for that matter.

The bottom line is that you don’t need to change anything. If you want to be part of the whole dating scene, you just need to look outside your group of guy friends, but in all honesty if you are just patient, you will see that the situation changes all by itself! Relationships at your age don’t last long, and you actually don’t spend all that much time together. When you get to varsity or get your first job and start to live more independently, relationships tend to be a bit more stable and serious. It’s at this point that guys usually realise the importance of having a girlfriend that they enjoy spending time with and engaging in conversation with. This will be your time to shine!

Your message also doesn’t give the impression that you are particularly interested in any of these guys either. It seems you just want the reassurance that you won’t be a spinster with a house full of cats in 10 years time. Well, I can easily give you that reassurance. Believe me, this is all going to work out perfectly for you – no cats are on the horizon. Just wait and see – your time is yet to come!!!

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