Q: I am 18 and I have a boyfriend who is 21. We have been dating for four years now. His mother is a teacher at my school. I truly love him so much and if there is one thing I can say with confidence it is that he would never want to hurt me. But the thing is that the ‘in love’ spark isn’t there anymore for me. I wanted to break up in December, but as soon as I said something he started telling me how I was his world, he can’t make it without me and he’s working now to build a future for us. So you can see he has marriage in mind and there is so much I want to do ALONE before I commit myself. My dad also likes the idea of me marrying him because he really loves him, he knows he will be good to me and he knows I will be steady financially because he is studying to be a doctor. But how do I tell someone I want to break it up when he tells me these things? How do I tell him I want to be free and just enjoy my young life before I commit? I know I sound ungrateful for a wonderful boyfriend, but it doesn’t help me wasting his time if I don’t feel in love anymore?
A: I think you know this is going to end badly if you don’t have the courage to speak your truth now. If you continue to be someone you are not you are going to get frustrated and it’s going to make you feel guilty and him feel unloved. Please find the strength to be bold and say the things you need to say both to him and to your dad. My thoughts are with you while you do what makes you happy.