Q: I am in a long-distance relationship with a guy and there’s a problem. He is making huge changes to himself. He is getting piercings and his moods change too quickly. He is not the guy I fell in love with. The problem is I can’t leave him because he said I’m his happiness and if I leave him he will commit suicide. I am soft-hearted and don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to hurt himself.
A: I feel your pain. This is manipulation at its best. Reading this is going to be so hard for you but it’s one of those invaluable life lessons that will stand you in good stead for all relationships. Other people’s actions are not EVER determined by your actions. What I mean by that is you can’t make someone do or not do something. It isn’t true that a woman makes a man cheat on her by not giving him what he wants, neither is it true that your boyfriend will commit suicide if you break up with him. This is NOT the kind of person you want to have a loving, meaningful relationship with. I would move on.