Q: I’m really frustrated because there’s this boy who asked me out. I told him we should probably get to know each other before we start dating. So then I agreed on being his valentine. He keeps on sending me love hearts and sweet messages. I’m scared of hurting his feelings, so I send back love hearts. He’s not particularly cool and I’m scared my friends will laugh at me if we start dating. I don’t want to lie to him but I don’t want to hurt his feelings because he’s a great friend to me. What should I do?
A: Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. From reading your message, it seems, however, that the real issue here is that you need to work out what you really want so you CAN be honest. It sounds as though you quite like him on some level, but are worried about what your friends think about him. If this is the case it’s important to remember that this is your life, and your friends can have an opinion, but they don’t get to make your life choices for you. If on the other hand you just are not sure you like him enough tell him that you treasure your friendship and you want to let things progress naturally. Spend some time thinking about what YOU really want, and then make the call. Leading somebody along is never fair, and he will recover and move on if you tell him this isn’t going to work for you, but just make sure that you aren’t being too influenced by your friends and their opinions – you can’t live your life for other people!
If you have any questions for Dr Love please send them through to email@example.com. All questions will be treated as confidential – so names will never be used.