Q: I met this guy who asked for my number. I gave it to him because he was quite friendly and cute. After a few days I started developing strong feeling for him. He then started inviting me to visit him at his home. I thought to myself ‘why not?’ because we’re not even dating so I’m sure there will be no problem with that. He mentioned that he is single and he has not been dating for quite a while because he feels that relationships are outdated and it brings problems, as he is the jealous type and is overprotective when dating someone. He asked if we could have a close relationship so I said it was fine. After a few hours we started kissing each other in his bed and he started touching me in sensitive places. I liked it a lot but suddenly told him to stop and explained that I’m a virgin and I can’t do it even if I wanted to. We then stopped and I went home. He asked me to call him when I got home which I did, but then he sounded like he didn’t want to talk to me or something. Our conversation over the phone felt so awkward that I even asked him why he is not texting me on WhatsApp, but he said he was kind of busy so I dropped the phone call. He no longer talks to me like he used to, so I don’t know what to do? Was I being selfish with how I reacted?
A: No, you were definitely not being selfish. You had a boundary and you kept to it, well done! Let me ask you this, have you thought about that if you did sell yourself short and slept with him, that he would have treated you the same way? Once he got what he wanted you were or no concern to him any longer. So are you not glad you didn’t do that? What can you learn from this situation? Think about how much your life matters, how important your values and picture of yourself is. I’m incredibly proud of you for having the courage to be principled, and you should be proud of yourself too! Well done!