Just because everyone can use @Instagram, definitely does not mean that they should. Instagram may appear as a glorified picture book, but in fact there is a real art to having a good looking Instagram account. Here are 10 rules to help you out:
- DO NOT post pictures of food and coffee art. Unless the food or coffee art is particularly overwhelmingly different it is simply NOT of interest to the majority of human beings. We all like coffee. We really do. Buta heart on the top of a cup of coffee is the sort of thing your mum would post on Facebook. Don’t litter Instagram with this rubbish. If this is all you can think of to post, go and hang out on Facebook (with your mum).
- DO NOT EVER post pictures of your friends with a circle of hands or feet. This simply says to the world “I have friends, but they are much too ugly for me to take pictures of their faces”.
- AVOID pictures of cheesy quotes. These are naff, and mostly make us want to vomit.
- DO NOT post excessively. 4 posts a day is an absolute maximum – otherwise you risk driving your followers insane. Also – enjoy your holiday/day out/dinner, don’t spend the entire time taking photos of it.
- NEVER EVER use #blessed, unless you are doing so ironically. It is simply nauseating. Far worse than this is #blessedwiththebest – I mean, really, just head over to Facebook with your mum right now and post pictures of cats. There’s no hope for you.
- DO NOT like your own pictures. The fact that you posted it suggests that, well, you like it.
- AVOID selfie sticks. At all costs. It is bad enough that we have to scroll through thousands of selfies a day, but the second a selfie stick has been used, it is time to block. Anyone who plans to take selfies and therefore carries their selfie stick with them, needs help, like yesterday.
- DO NOT post pictures of baby animals or puppies more than once a week. They are cute, but only every so often. By the 45th picture even a lion cub can lose its charm. And never ever post pictures of cats. Spare us all. Please.
- DO NOT post pictures of yourself inthe gym. Unless you are a) famous or b) are working out with someone famous, nobody needs to see you all hot and sweaty. And we know you only post to make us feel guilty, and that makes us MAD. Like really, really MAD.
- THINK about where you are before you take a picture. If you are at a funeral, accident scene etc it is NOT, we repeat NOT, acceptable to take pictures.
Got all that?! Are there any more cardinal rules of Instagram that you wish the rest of the population would follow? Let us know!